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Ballad of the Pigeon God #30: It's a Wonderful Reuinion

For a month, the occupants of Chateau d'Echelon were in quite a pickle. The moneylender who financed the purchase of the estate and its expansion called in the loan in full, due to an "Act of the Gods" clause in the agreement.

Echelon - Peculiar cleric of an eastern god of the sea and expert on raising pigeons.  He had acquired a charmed telepathic wolf, Pathfinder, and fell into the estate by the sheer talents of his hirelings.
Talis Makolin - Bard and lover extraordinaire.
Count Zabty - NPC-  half-orc fallen paladin of Akana who had been trapped in stasis for hundreds of years by the spider-people who have infiltrated the kingdom.  Acting ruler and protector of Eding and the surrounding villages, after a complete collapse in government over the second half of the year.
Carthon, Jenny and Timmy D'Echelon - NPC-  Carthon was Echelon's hireling who established the Chateau.  He married Jenny, a sergeant on the village militia and together they adopted lovable orphan/torchbearer/animal handler Timmy, age 10.
Dew Xyclone - NPC -former noblewoman suffering a similar fate to Count Zabty.  Upon her rescue she has become the matron of the Chateau, keeping the household running as the others run the farm.  Great cook.
Heirylat - NPC -former brigand and father of the famed Lady Iris, Red Knight of Crosedes.  Also rescued like Zabty, working as farm hand on the estate.
"Baron" Felix - NPC - Another spider-person kidnappee.  Former Baron from Ras-Prythax hundreds of years ago, now farm foreman at the estate.
Mohammad - NPC -  former mentor of Echelon.  Man from the near-east who had lost his legs in shark/catapult pirate escape years ago.  A recent powerful burst of divine power turned him near catatonic, spending most hours meditating in a kitchen broom closet.

30 DecDec, 1070 - Chateau d'Echelon, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Talis: "A letter was delivered today from Velandro saying he and the Dag Family of kobolds were returning from training just in time for the five-day Yule holiday which ended the year!"

36 DecDec, 1070 - Chateau d'Echelon, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The due date to make payment in full on the Chateau arrived, but Talis and Echelon could barely cobble together 1,200gp of the over 12,000gp outstanding balance.  Mr Tinpenny did not make an appearance to foreclose.  It was decided to continue to empty the contents of the wine cellar, as only items they could carry on their persons and on one mount per person was permitted once the Chateau was surrendered.  But drunk Echelon and Talis continued to expand on their not-so-secret plan to secretly kill Tinpenny... his men... and probably government officials/sheriffs overseeing the foreclosure.

1st Day of YULE!  1070 - Chateau d'Echelon, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The first morning of Yule opened to a very hungover Talis and Echelon, all the while Timmy threw a fit because Carthon and Jenny refused to let him out of the Chateau to explore in the rain and mud in the woods.

Early afternoon, Count Zabty made an appearance to inform them that he would not be part of their diabolical plan to kill Tinpenny.

Talis:  "Wait, how drunk were we that we told a paladin about our murder plot???"

In fact, Zabty also advised them that he was leaving. Torm and the remaining leadership would be fine to oversee and protect Eding, even if the heroes of the Chateau were missing or drunk.

Once Zabty left, the rest of the friends and staff in the Chateau pledged to follow the heroes lead, whatever that would be.

Before dusk, Velandro and the Dag family finally arrived for the Yule festivities.  The entire Chateau company greeted them warmly, save Mohammad, who could be heard in the closet, talking to his god, Tshang Kai Shing.

Talis and Echelon tried to inform Velandro of their trials and tribulations over the past few months, but before they could find a place to hang four small kobold cloaks, they were interrupted by twenty-three of the locals, who noticed the beloved kobolds' return.

Again, warm greetings and warm food was exchanged, until another knock at the door was heard.

This time it was Kane the monk, Ashe the Ranger, and a very pregnant red-head, Babette.  All three look tired and road-worn and bloody, as they had encountered a number of wolves on the way from Hydincall, plus a steady snow had caught up to them on their final stretch home.  Little was discussed of where Maloran's cousin's brothel went, where Rolf was, or why Ashe's hair was stark white, although they were able to tell everyone of Maloran's heroic demise.  Slightly shocked but honored, they poured a toast to their fallen comrade.

More peasants arrived at the Chateau.  Some with holiday food, some with bottle of alcohol they had stowed away during all the disasters of the year prior, and a few of the surviving elders brought small carved toys or blankets to the kids (as is part of Yule tradition).
Through the chaos of the party, a snow-covered dwarf appeared in the main room, walking a pony behind him.  Norm Dingleberry had returned! Those that knew of the failed mushroom farmer that only spoke Dwarven were amazed that he now spoke Trade Common perfectly, although he did have an outrageous French accent.  Baron Felix offered to take the pony, named My Lil, to the barn, but Norm steadfastly refused.

Five more new adventurers arrived, claiming to be former associates of Carthon.  One was Kyrill, the dwarf that had aided Echelon in ridding the halfling villages of spider-people. The leader called himself Benvorho, Ambassador of the Little People.  Most people found them stranger than Echelon, but they brought wine for all, so they were allowed to stay.

Finally, the fur-clad moneylender, Nebuchadnezzar Tinpenny arrived with an entourage of six guards plate mails and a pile of very official documents in a large box.  Confusion swept over the Chateau as he offered Talis and Echelon one final chance to pay in full before he used his authority from the King to kick everyone off of the estate, even if it was the first night of Yule.  

Talis and Echelon froze, wondering what would happen if they assaulted the crooked man in front of a crowd of innocents?  Would they live? Go to jail?  Spark a revolt that would get put down by the King's knights?

Fortunately Norm flipped open some chests strapped to the back of the pony still standing in the room, that somehow had thousands gold and jewels inside...

The Chateau d'Echelon was saved!  They kicked the money changer and his men out of the house and hailed Norm a hero!

Another knock at the door was answered to a group of kobolds, ("drinking friends" of Velandro's from the Akana monastery outside Lansluck).  The were dressed in the style of a Mariachi band and a very stirring rendition of the kobold holiday classic "Fleaz on My Bod."

Yet again, someone else banged on the front door.  It was a cold and somewhat annoyed Rolf Wolfsblood.... wearing Tinpenny's fur coat.  The barbarian took the floor and was the first to explain the story of how Kannex teleported a brothel to another world and the adventures that took place there.  Those included the one that started the obvious series of tattoos that were now covering his body, as well as the dent that was in Norm's rear.

Norm dropped trow to prove it.  It did not dissuade most party-goers.

As stories were trade and more logs thrown onto the fire, there was one last knock at the front door. It was a group of obvious city-folk, along with Lady Iris, Red Knight of Crosedes.  After a moment of relief once they were allowed to warm up beside the fire, one of the group read a royal proclamation...

"A proclamation of his majesty King Nevin IV the Ogre-Slayer, of the Great and Royal Kingdom of Crosedes, on the Twenty-Ninth day of DecDec, One Thousand Seventy in the calendar of the Ancien Empire."

"In reference to the following acts, as reported by Lady Iris, Red Knight of Crosedes,  County Zabty of Halfwater, Crown Prince William of Arinka, heir to the Crown of Aragain, and His Lawful Holiness, Adolphus, Archbishop of Hydincall: 
  • For dutiful and never ending service in the reclamation and return of the Ancient and Holy Bell of Chardastes for the Faith of the Kingdom.
  • For the rescue and escort of foreign dignitaries from areas of outright rebellion.  
  • For the rescue and safe return of watchful agents of the Crown and innocent peasants alike from kidnapping, murder, and outright brigandry. 
  • For prompt and ever-vigilant protection of the village of Eding from evil men and the enemies of man, both material and otherworldly. 
  • For rallying forces to uncover and destroy plots to threaten the rightful lineage of his Royal Majesty and all vassals swearing allegiance to him.  
  • For the general care of welfare, regardless of boon or despair, of the all the Kingdom's citizens who reside in the general area known as Eding. "
"Echelon Riemann, born of Omsjik, resident of the Chateau d'Echelon, has been granted the title of Baron in service of the King of Crosedes, controlling and protecting the villages of Eding, Lowdale, Welldale, and Elmshire and their surrounding environs.  "

From the Journal of Baron Echelon of Eding...
"It was a great time had by all as the party drew into the night.  Oh Yeah, I almost forgot.  I was also declared Baron and given two women whom  I have to pay for their services.  I think their duties are more administrative, which is good because I don't want to take too much time from training my pigeons....."

DM Notes:  I've mentioned in previous blog posts the dynamics of this particular session, but I will do my best to explain it here.  

This was the first session with college back in session.  We ran this game in the evening of Fall Move-In Day.  It was semi-live-action, with Talis and Echelon's players pacing the basement common area (or normal playspace), and a cast of half-informed players waiting on the other side of the door to the unused TV room.  Talis and Echelon were quite sure they were going to be force to kill Tinpenny, but as things calmed down enough to review their plans, there was another knock on the door.  Not only did all the characters return from their travels far and wide, but I kept adding villagers. tradesmen, and established NPCs to make their visits to the Chateau and their heroes for the last half-year of crisis.  

Finally, when Tinpenny arrived (me), things were in a state of chaos, because no one really knew the whole story of what was transpiring.  Between chests and bags of holding full of treasure that most of the Talislanta adventurers had forgotten about, Norm was able to save the day.  Everyone was surprised, but relieved that the next knock at the door wasn't Rolf, but the "fun" Kobold mariachi band.  

The appearance of the tattooed Rolf wearing Tinpenny's coat (he waylayed them out simply out of spite and took just the coat), I initiated the storytelling phase, where everyone tried to tell there part of story, a "What I Gamed Over My Summer Vacation" if you will.  

Once we were halfway done with that I dropped the Royal Scribe and his assistants on them.   Despite Talis and Echelon feeling like they were all alone combating the fates of Hell from descending onto Eding, King Nevin had received correspondence of their efforts.  Heck, their first mention in reports to him was by (spider-person) Lady Iris, who thought them as easily controlled chumps back at the lizardman raid of Eding back in episode #4.   The real Lady Iris extolled their virtues in her rescue, and post-wedding clean-up.  Prince William had taken control of Eding more out of diplomatic ploy than benevolence, but extended his appreciation for all the efforts in keeping the peace.  Heraldists were confused by Count Zabty's ancient credentials, but still accepted his reports on the heroes of the latest Chateau, the true protectors of Eding.  Of course, the Archbishop appreciated the return of the Bell and their combat with inter-dimensional pseudo-deities.  

With Lord Athelstane dead for nearly five months, and no other proper landowner with valid claim to the land grant, it was simple to bestow a title onto one of the heroes.   Baron would force the person to look into the halfling villages, long neglected by Athelstane, and the owner of the Chateau, a man who must already know how to organized a staff, seemed wise to be granted that title.

We're moving onto a chapter in the campaign, complete with new characters. (Yes, Mellandria the Mage was part of this scenario, but I'll give her a proper introduction next episode).

EDIT: Of course, Echelon's player, Steve would just happen upon a pile of campaign papers that force me to tweak the campaign episodes.  The actual royal proclamation is the only thing that affects this episode, and outside of a reminder that the old Feraso Empire is referred to the Ancien Empire in royal correspondence, the ret-conned announcement is far superior. 

NEXT #31 - Mage Trap!
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Happy Halloween 2017!


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These Kids and Their Technology!

So, my daughters are pretty close to crisis addiction level when it comes to scouring Youtube looking for blindbag videos.  In gamer-speak, a blindbag is the equivalent to opening up Heroclix singles on video, only for kids they're opening up a wide variety of collectibes from a wide-range of brands.

If you know what a Shopkin was for the last three years, you know what a blind bag is.

However, this whole concept isn't just relegated to kids toys.  There are plenty of videos where gamers crack open new product for the world to see.  And, of course, there are people ripping open packs of Beta Magic: The Gathering cards, only to find a Purelace as the rare.

With Millie (GnomeGirl #2) at a karate party *shudder*, I took a few moments with Maja (GnomeGirl#1) and we finally opened up the My Little Pony: Tails of Equestria - Curse of the Statuettes Boxed Set that I ordered on Amazon a few weeks ago.

First take, no editiing, no scripting, and some whining and gnashing of teeth and it's on Youtube.

I'm keeping my day job, and I'm certainly not advancing into the realm of professional vlogging any time soon.
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Gnome Wars Events for Fall-In! 2017

Despite my best effort to wait for the last update of the Preliminary Event List (PEL) before pre-registering for Fall-In this upcoming weekend, I must have missed a final update, for, lo and behold, we have Gnome events!

F:405:14 Gnome Wars: The Vilage of Tulgas 
Friday, 2:00:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 8 GM: James Stanton Sponsor: None, Prize: Gnomes!! Period: Other, Scale: 28mm, Rules: Gnone Wars On November 11, 1918 elements of Hodson's American Infantry, 10th Highlanders, and a battery of Swiss Field Artillery were positioned in the Village of Tulgas. Suddenly, they were assaulted by the 96th Saratov Infantry regiment, part of Trotsky's newly raised Red Army. Heavily outnumbered and low on supplies, the allies had two cards in the hole - Mr. Browning and his friend Mr. Vickers.

S:406:13 Gnome Wars: The Vilage of Tulgas 
Saturday, 1:00:00 PM, 4 hrs, Players: 6 GM: James Stanton Sponsor: None, Prize: Gnomes!! Period: Other, Scale: 28mm, Rules: Gnome Wars On November 11, 1918 elements of Hodson's American Infantry, 10th Highlanders, and a battery of Swiss Field Artillery were positioned in the Village of Tulgas. Suddenly, they were assaulted by the 96th Saratov Infantry regiment, part of Trotsky's newly raised Red Army. Heavily outnumbered and low on supplies, the allies had two cards in the hole - Mr. Browning and his friend Mr. Vickers.
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D&D Going Hip and Hipster

As much as I love some Andy Borowitz satire, I cringed at the initial though of the recent New Yorker article covering the resurrection of Dungeons & Dragons.

Upon reading it, my head hurt, I felt a little dirty, and after fears of a clueless hipster wave overtaking my logic center made me empathize with Middle Americans who thought the coasts "didn't get it," I feel a little dirtier.

D&D is booming.  The Fifth Edition books have all hit the Amazon 100 and stayed there for months.  Podcasts and streaming video channels with diverse and telegenic tables of players with at least capable improv ability are entertaining tens of thousands. Even game cafes in Brooklyn are suffering waitlists and trendiness among the "Games Workshop Moms" that is usually reserved for Pokemon, Beanie Babies, Wine Memes, and fashionably comfortable footwear.  Plus, their push for inclusivity of all types of players and characters has pushed upon the doors to let other people into a hobby dominated with socially awkward white dudes, even if the stereotypical character tropes are simply wrapped in a rainbow banner.  We're not really breaking new ground, simply expanding upon a well-prepared base.

On top of all that, I've been through 18 years of mainstream articles touting 3rd/4th/5th, the same old list of celebrity gamers, and whatever the trendiest video site is for games (with an even more judgmental nod to video games).  They are really not hashing anything new I haven't seen in the local paper, or a copy of USAToday many moons ago.

A couple critiques on some of the actual writing in the article:
Calling Gygax Magazine a "once defunct" magazine in the same paragraph that mentions its launch party is confusing to anyone with half a brain cell, and insulting to everyone with more than base knowledge in gaming history.  (Dragon Magazine is discontinued... Gygax Magazine tries to take up the mantle, shenanigans ensue, and while the new TSR is barely alive, Gygax Magazine could most certainly be described as currently defunct.)

Really, I don't when this whole "D&D (and RPGs in General) are Great for Autism" thing went viral to the mainstream, but did anyone look at gaming groups in the 70's, 80's, and 90's?   At least half of the players in them would probably land somewhere on "The Spectrum."   Of course, it can be great for many different groups of people!  It's not kettlebell pilates, naked paintball, or a Gerard Depardieu fan club, it's an imaginative social activity with friends.

And finally, I don't care what your style guide demands, the trademark is for "D&D," and has been for decades, so you don't need to plaster the obnoxious and migraine-inducing "D. & D." throughout the article.  It's the moniker for the brand not the abbreviation some short line railroad in eastern Idaho.

I guess in the this post-media world we're now fully entrenched in, any media coverage truly is a positive for any entity, but I can seriously say, with my nearly thirty years of general gaming, industry news, retail and manufacturing experience, and hobby history, that I had no clue where the author really wanted to go with the article after the first read-through.

And regardless of whether I agree or disagree with the angles and directions of the article, if I can't figure it out, I have concerns that the regular readers of the New Yorker will be even more flummoxed. 
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(Kickstarter) The Ruins Of Glendale Village

Nord Games has recently launched a Kickstarter for their Ruins Of Glendale Village line of terrain.

Twenty-five dollars gets you one of four unpainted sets of village ruins in a gray plaster that you could easily give a wash and set on the table.  
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Apathy of the New Releases (Nov '17)

Every month, when the latest issue of Game Trade Magazine (GTM) becomes available from Alliance Games Distribution, I peruse the solicitations, make up the list of the items my imaginary store would probably order, make a few comments, and simply reaffirm my logic for naming the monthly post, Apathy of the New Releases.  Not that there isn't an immense selection of games, mind you, but that I'm so far away from the target demograhics that even the coolest item ever that they're promoting that month usually makes me go....

Meh.

Issue #213 of GTM should be covering November/December releases, ergo the last big push to put things on the shelves before Christmas, and the vast catalog of puzzles, novelties, and CCG supplies adding 5-6 pages to the regular-sized pdf, certainly shows.

But within those pages, I came upon a stunning realization: There's some pretty cool stuff that I actually want!

... and I'll probably still find something to complain about.  It's what I do *Yells at cloud....*

ViscountEric's Want List
Looney Labs
Doctor Who Fluxx .......................................................... $20.00

Ninja Division Games
My Little Pony RPG:  Bestiary of Equestria ...................  $29.99
My Little Pony RPG:  The Festival of Lights Adv ........... $15.99

Reaper 
Bones - Anarctic Explorer ................................................ $2.79
Bones - Hillbilly ............................................................... $2.79
Bones - Jake Ryan, Hero Explorer ................................... $2.79
Bones - Pulp Professor ..................................................... $2.79

ViscountEric's Money-Is-No-Issue Want List
The Design Mechanism
Mythras RPG: Mythic Constantinople .............................. $34.95

Fantasy Flight Games
Star Wars the RPG: 30th Anniversary Edition ................. $59.95

The Imaginary Store (The Pegleg Gnome) List
Asmodee 
Breaking Bad: The Board Game ....................................... $30.00

Atlas Games
Squirrel or Die .................................................................... $10.00
The White Box ................................................................... $29.95

Chaosium 
Heroquest Glorantha: The Red Cow Vol II - Eleven Lights .. $34.95

Czech Games
That's a Question? ............................................................. $20.00

Days of Wonder 
Ticket to Ride Maps Volume 6: France and the Old West .. $44.95

Devir Americas
Dungeon Raiders ............................................................... $17.95

Fantasy Flight Games
Battle for Rokugan ............................................................. $39.95
Star Wars Armada: Chimaera Expansion .......................... $49.95
Star Wars Armada: Profundity Expansion ......................... $39.95
Star Wars Destiny: Dice Binders ....................................... $14.95 ea
Boba Fett, Darth Vader, or Princess Leia Covers

Star Wars RPG: Force and Destiny: Unlimited Power HC . $29.95
Star Wars RPG:  Roleplaying Gamemat ............................   PI
Star Wars X-Wing: Alpha-Class Star Wing .......................................... $14.95
Star Wars X-Wing: The Last Jedi - Resistance Bomber ................. ..... $39.95
Star Wars X-Wing: M12-L KIMOGILA FIGHTER ............................. $19.95
Star Wars X-Wing: TIE SILENCER ..................................................... $29.95
Star Wars X-Wing: PHANTOM II ........................................................ $14.95

Gale Force Nine
STAR TREK ASCENDANCY: BORG PLAY MAT 36” X 36” .... PI

Games Worksho
p
Adeptus Mechanics Codex (HC) ........................................ $40.00
Chaos Space Marine Death Guard Codex (HC).................  $40.00
Not getting into the $7 for a core figure in a boxed set rant.  Not today...

Mantic Entertainment
Terrain Crate: Battlefield Crate ........................................... $75.00
Terrain Crate: Dark Lord's Crate ......................................... $75.00
Terrain Crate: Dungeon Crate ............................................. $75.00
Terrain Crate: Town Crate ................................................... $75.00

Osprey Publishing
LANCASTER BOMBER POCKET MANUAL: 1941-1945 ... $14.00
SPITFIRE POCKET MANUAL: 1939-1945 ......................... $14.00

Paizo
Pathfinder ACG: Occult Adv Character Deck 1 ........................................ $19.99
Pathfinder RPG: Adv Class Guide (Pocket Edition) .................................. $19.99
Pathfinder RPG: Bestiary 3 (Pocket Edition) ............................................. $19.99
Pathfinder RPG:  AP - Ruins of Azlant Part 6 - Beyone the Veiled Past ... $24.99
Pathfinder RPG: Player Companion: Disciple's Doctrine .......................... $14.99
Pathfinder RPG: CS - Ruins of Azlant - Post Map Folio ........................... $19.99
Pathfinder RPG: Flip-Map - Dungeons Multi-Pack ................................... $24.99
Starfinder RPG: Flip-Map - Urban Sprawl ................................................. $14.99


Q-Workshop
Call of Cthulhu Dice ............................................................  PI
Q-Workshop is ridiculously expensive for what you're really paying for, but tis the season for people demanding overpriced stuff.  

Reaper Miniatures
Two waves of the Bones 3 Kickstarter is solicited this month so IF one of my FLGS gets some in, I might be inclined to actually buy something there!  

Rio Grande Games
Dominion: Nocturne ............................................................................. $44.95
Power Grid:  Fabled Cards ................................................................... $15.95

Steve Jackson Games
Munchkin: Hidden Treasure Special Edition ........................................ $19.95
Munchkin: Playmat - The Flower of Love ............................................ $16.95
Munchkin: Valentine's Day Monster Box .............................................. $29.95
Super Kitty Bug Slap ............................................................................. $ 6.95
Munchkin: Collecticlbe Card Game Starter Sets.................................... $24.95 each
Starters:  Cleric/Thief, Ranger/Warrior, Wizard/Bard 
Munchkin: Collectible Card Game: Boosters

Ulisses-Spiele
Torg Eternity RPG: Core Rules HC ...................................................... $49.99
Torg Eternity RPG: Day One HC ......................................................... $29.99
Torg Eternity RPG: GM Screen ...........................................................  $24.99
Torg Eternity RPG: Dice Pack .............................................................. $ 9.99
Torg Eternity RPG: Drama Deck .......................................................... $19.99
Torg Eternity RPG: Delphi Missions - Rising Storm HC ....................  $24.99
Torg Eternity RPG: Poster Map ............................................................ $14.99
Torg Eternity RPG: Possibilities ........................................................... $19.99

Ultra-Pro
Tons of stuff for Ixalan.  Despite its price, Magic players seem to love official stuff.  

Vallejo
Tons of restocks or paints and new products.  Not my favorite paint, but the displays are space conscious, the paint quality, and the modelling tools don't require a lifetime of debt like GW.

WizKids
TMNT HEROCLIX: UNPLUGGED GRAVITY FEED DISPLAY
TMNT HEROCLIX: UNPLUGGED FAST FORCES .............. $16.95
TMNT HEROCLIX: UNPLUGGED DICE & TOKEN PACK  .... $9.99

Z-Man
History of the World .................................................... $69.99
Kingsburg ................................................................... $59.99
Majesty: For the Realm .............................................. $39.99
My First Stone Age: The Card Game ......................... $14.99
Pandemic Rising Tide ................................................. $49.99

Zvezda
GERMAN TANK MAUS .............................................. $4.95
SD.KFZ.173 Jagdpanther Germand Tank Destroyer...... $4.95
Soviet HQ Winter .......................................................... $4.95
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The Battle in a Box Contest

From http://www.bucksurdu.com :

"The Harford Area Weekly Kriegspielers (HAWKs) are hosting a contest to identify the best “battle in a box” miniatures game. The basic idea behind this contest is to challenge game masters to develop the best looking and most fun miniatures game that can fit in a single box, one that could fit in the overhead bin of a standard passenger airplane. Often it is helpful to have a battle in a box to take on vacation, have on hand in case a club event finishes early, or is cancelled, etc. It is easy to develop a battle in a box that has poor aesthetics, but fitting a very nice game into a single box should be a bit challenging. "

I like a contest where the goal solves a common problem, and doesn't involve me spending tremendous sums of cash. With a deadline of Fall-In! 2018, I have some time to think about some options with my current collection (and to procure the specific case in mention).

The full rules of the contest can be found here.
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Ballad of the Pigeon God #29 From Bad to Worse...

A group of adventurers were running down the main road of Eding toward the estate of a certain M. Echelon.

Talis Makolin - Bard and Lover Extraordinaire
Prince William the Scarlet - NPC - Paladin of Akana, Knight of the Spiral Hawk, and Crown Prince of the Kingdom of Aragain.  Given absolute power of the Village of Eding and environs by the King of Crosedes, and promptly failed to act after successive disasters, suffering the loss of a manor house by a currently marauding group of peasants.
Rurik Bloodblade - NPC-  Viking warrior from Wyrmnal.  Former adventuring companion of William
Fiame - NPC - Cleric of Akana and an adventuring companion of William.
MacKay - NPC - Hardened myrmidion and adventuring companion of William

22 OctDec 1070, Chateau d'Echelon, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosdes
The group reached their destination, the Chateau d'Echelon, where their reinforcements had start just mustered together to embark towards Eding.  Echelon had raised Count Zabty half-orc fallen paladin, Carthon d'Echelon and his wife Jenny, Heirylat, ex-gladiator Brutus, and former soldiers Aetex and Cilito for the ensuing melee.

Their increased numbers secured  victory over the revolting peasants.  They persued a retreating pack of them escorting the traitorous Rogard back to town.  Back in the village green, they finally caught up to Rogard, as he surrendured in an exhausted heap.

At this point villagers innocent in the revolt came out of their homes to warn the party of "many, many horses"  riding towards town from the north.   They took refuge in Argus the Blacksmith's shop.  Using one of the blacksmith's hammers as an interrogation tool, Talis questioned Rogard.  He admitted to killing Barrak and conspiring to overthrow Prince William. He also said that "they" were coming and that the party was as good as dead.

Black armored cavalry arrived in town, along with some large, rubbery nasty humanoids who had kept up on foot.  Echelon and company emerged to confront them.

The "Defenders of Eding," along with Argus fought the well-armed horsemen, and things quickly went poorly.  Employing the Echelon School of Battle Tactics, they scrambled back to the Chateau.

After regrouping at the Chateau, they prepared to fight them again, further aided by Mohammad, two village militiamen,  Baron Felix, and Pathfinder.  They fought valiantly, knowing that if they lost there the chateau and everything they had would be taken by this force of raiders.

The battle was looking bad, when suddenly Mohammad called down the pillars of fires of his godincinerating the monsters.  With the rubbery monsters taken out by the fire, they were able to defeat the knights.

Talis:  "Fires of the god of the sea?  I ain't a theologin, but that ain't right."

They interrogated the surviving knights and discovered their leader was the mysterious DREAD LORD!  All they knew of him was that he was somehow related to the king, and he had a long-planned campaign to usurp the throne.

A detachment of Crosedean Royal Cavalry  oddly arrived in short order.   The leader of the Cavalry happened to be Prince Cervinal, brother of King Nevin!  He refused to believe a word the Defenders of Eding said, because "Foolish peasants, I AM the Dread Lord...  The King would not believe a word you said."

Then a woman rode up to the meeting.  She shed her hood, revealing Celeste, the girl they had encountered in Alasku... and Talis had courted back in Hydincall.  Her appearance only escalated the arguments with the Dread Lord and Royal Cavalry until she apparently cast some spell and everyone was knocked out.

When the party woke up, the Dread Lord and the Royal Cavalry were gone.  It appeared that the Dread Lord and County Zabty were, in fact, unaffected by the spell.   Zabty protected all the fallen, forcing the Dread Lord and his daughter to escape.  As the royal cavalry woke up, Zabty attempted to smooth things other with them and prove their innocence.

23 OctDec 1070, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosdes
Aetex, Cilitio, and Brutus left after breakfast, heading for fame and fortune in Hydincall.

24 OctDec 1070, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosdes
The Chateau awoke to Prince William and his adventuring friends missing.  They had left sometime during the night and stole enough horses to get out of town quickly.

27 OctDec 1070, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Mohammad had not been himself after his giant flamestrike stymied the Dread Lord's men.  He moved less and less on his little scooter, and on this day, the others found him in a closet, in a deep meditative trance.   He would occasionally take a few moments to come slightly out of the trance to eat and drink, but otherwise, he was not responsive to anything else.

35 NonDec 1070, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosdes
For over a month the Chateau did what they could to reassemble the village, and partaking heavily in any wine stores that they could get their hands on.

Zabty still had some clout and respect with the remaining villagers, but there is no guidance from Hydincall.  Carthon and Baron Felix distributed the surviving grain stores among the villagers and had firewood cut for a long, cold, and bleak winter.

1 DecDec 1070, Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosdes
The Chateau received an unexpected knock at the door.  A man calling himself Mr Tinpenny visited, escorted by four well-armed guards.

He revealed that Carthon had actually taken out a loan to purchase and improve the Chateau, using the money from Echelon's sold off possession as meager collateral.  With the general collapse of order in Eding, mixed with horrendous weather, Tinpenny was executing a little-noted clause in the loan contract recalling the entire balance of the loan.  The party had until the end of the month. to pay back the full amount of 12,800 gold pieces or he would seize the property and all the possessions inside.

Even if the missing heroes had returned, they couldn't amass enough gold to pay off the debt.

But after several days of drinking, Echelon and Talis come up with a plan...

DM Notes:  Things in the second part of the special session with Talis and Echelon's player went from bad to outright horrible.  Eding is in shambles, Prince William was proven to be a horrible leader, the rumored Dread Lord is in a position of power that they can't touch and the Chateau, which Carthon had purchased only a year ago, was going to be taken away from them.  

I half expected Talis and Echelon, not the most heroic characters in bunch, to pack up and run before the peasant uprising.  I was impressed that they toughed it out.  Salvaging most of the wine in town for personal use probably helped that decision.  

Let's see here....
*Barrak and hundreds of villagers?  Dead.
*Count Zabty and Torm Touchberry - Desperate and despondent leaders of the Eding shadow government.
*Rolf, Ashe, Kane, Kannex, and Maloran?  Missing for months.
*Velandro and the Dag Family?  Training in Ispatlia, completely unaware of the chaos.
*Carthon, Jenny, Timmy, Dew, Heirylat,  and Baron Felix?  Simply exhausted from working at the Chateau and trying to help the villagers.
*Mohammad? Stuck in a healing trance in a closet.
*Aetex, Cilito, and Brutus?  Deserted the Chateau for fame and fortune.  
*Prince William and his cohort?  Ditched town when things went bad. 
*Cervinal and Celeste Silvershield - The Dread Lord and his daughter.
*Mr Tinpenny? About the foreclose on the Chateau...
*Talis and Echelon?  All their fame and glory have afforded them failed responsibilities, and a daily mission to reach the bottom of as many wine bottles as possible each day.



... but they have a plan.

NEXT #30 - YULE!
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Playing at the World: Vintage Ad: Why Women Don't Play Wargames

The blog Playing at the World recently posted a picture of an ad that TSR used to "lure" women into the burgeoning fantasy role-playing hobby.   Vintage Ad: Why Women Don't Play Wargames:
From Playing at the World

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Brigade Models is Lovin' It!

Brigade Models over in the UK recently posted a cool new terrain piece using their 15mm products:




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Pittsburgh Gnomes

Hopefully, I'm recovering from the busiest day of the year at work, so to fill in today's session, here's a picture of some oddly placed gnomes in the Kidszone at the Pittsburgh Zoo. 

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(Kickstarter) Midlam Miniatures Garden Gnomes!

Midlam is at it again with another Kickstarter that hits my demographic like a sniper:  Common (or Garden Gnomes)
A forty dollar pledge (with shipping from the UK) will get all thrteen of the sculpts.  The miniatures are between 24-28mm head to foot.
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WizKids and Games Workshop Sign Mysterous Pact of Darkness

Press Release from Wizkids.com

WizKids Announces New Partnership with Games Workshop

Reveals Plans to Release New Games set in the Critically Acclaimed Warhammer 40,000™ Universe

October 19, 2017 – Hillside, NJ – WizKids, the leader in high-quality pre-painted miniatures and established board games, today revealed a multi-year partnership with acclaimed fantasy miniatures company, Games Workshop. The new partnership will extend the Warhammer 40,000 universe IP across multiple categories, including, Dice Building Games™, board games and more!

“We’re thrilled to be working with Games Workshop and the Warhammer 40,000 license,” said Justin Ziran, president of WizKids. “This beloved franchise is known the world over and our partnership will allow us to create amazing products and experiences for fans everywhere.”

The multi-year deal will span numerous categories and include the most iconic Warhammer 40,000 characters and more. WizKids will create two new board games, along with dice games based in the Warhammer 40,000 universe, with additional plans to republish classic board games Fury of Dracula and Relic.

WizKids will begin rolling out the new product lines in mid 2018.

For more information on WizKids, visit: www.wizkids.com.

About WizKidsWizKids/NECA, LLC, a wholly-owned subsidiary of NECA, is a New Jersey-based game developer and publisher dedicated to creating games driven by imagination. WizKids first pioneered the Combat Dial system featured in HeroClix, the leading collectible miniatures game on the market, with over 750 million miniature game figures sold worldwide. WizKids continues to produce new proprietary game platforms and properties including the award-winning fantasy board game Mage Knight, the groundbreaking Dice Building Game engine used in the critically-acclaimed game Quarriors! and Dice Masters, as well as its widely hailed execution of Attack Wing. For additional information, visit www.wizkids.com.

About Games WorkshopGames Workshop® Group PLC (LSE:GAW.L), based in Nottingham, UK, produces the best fantasy miniatures in the world. Games Workshop designs, manufactures, retails, and distributes its range of Warhammer®: Age of Sigmar® and Warhammer® 40,000® games, miniature soldiers, novels and model kits through more than 460 of its own stores (branded Games Workshop® or Warhammer®), the www.games-workshop.com web store and independent retail channels in more than 50 countries worldwide. More information about Games Workshop and its other, related, brands and product ranges (including our publishing division ‘Black Library’ and our special resin miniatures studio ‘Forge World’) can be found at www.games-workshop.com.

So what does this mean?  What it doesn't mean there will be an availability of cheap clix-style orks, tyrannids, and eldar. It doesn't say it can't happen eventually, but a focus on board games and dice games means the clix-focus most grognards are still associate with WizKids is getting pushed further into other endeavors.  I anticipate them filling the licensing requirements for board games like Fantasy Flight had previously done. 
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South Park: The Fractured But Whole

I very much enjoyed playing through The Fragmented But Whole. It seems to be doing less well with critics than its predecessor, but I think that’s quite a lot to do with the post-Gamergate obsession with avoiding triggering people meaning that anything edgy or offensive must be docked a few points, no matter how self-aware it may be about that. However, as a game, a story and a role-playing experience, I found it far more satisfying than The Stick of Truth.

There are certainly disappointments. I didn’t find the fart powers of the first game amusing, so it was a bit disappointing to find out that you continue as the same character with the same central ability – even if later there’s a kind of plot explanation for it. There was also a lot in the trailer that didn’t materialise in the game – Mint Berry Crunch is absent, probably not to appear until a later DLC; Mysterion is not the nemesis he was presented as, and is in fact a very minor character here; PC Principal is not the teased berserker boss but in his usual role of spewing social commentary and tacking a random quicktime event move onto the combat system; even though you’re told you can ‘pick a side’, unlike the first game you don’t get to make a decision whether to side for one faction or the other, so there’s never really any sense of picking a side. Well, there is one scene late in the game where you have a choice to make, which I don’t think makes any difference to the game whatsoever, but may be the game’s most harrowing and memorable, with a sudden shift in tone and humour supplied only by its juxtaposition with the other comedic elements around it.

For its flaws and broken promises, though, I think this game is considerably better than the last one.
Firstly, it’s just much more fun to play. The first game was an extremely simple RPG system which became pretty pointless as soon as you got some teammates with overpowered abilities – all you had to do was get Kyle and one-shot everything with arrows. Here, the Final Fantasy Tactics-style grid battle system with teammates and ranges to consider was much, much more compelling and fun. Yes, I had a team to steamroll the regular enemies I met, but bosses needed some strategy changes. Not only the hidden boss in the burrito shop (who was a fun challenge) but even some of the regular bosses were actually pretty difficult to adjust to, especially the larger ones. Hands down, that makes this a much more enjoyable game to play.

I could forgive the first game being simplistic, though, when the story was fun. Again, I think this game improves on the last. The first may have had a slightly clearer storyline – the MacGuffin has to be retrieved – but it suffered from being heavily fragmented by weird sequences at night and trips away from South Park. This game unfolds like an episode of the show, starting from a mundane adventure that lightly mocks pop culture (Cartman and Co, having squabbled with the other kids who were playing superhero, decide the way to get their superhero franchise started is by getting the reward money for finding a cat) and then spiralling out into something far bigger (a mysterious figure is uniting the crime bosses in the town to cause a crime wave and oust the current mayor). The twists are predictable, especially if you’ve ever seen Unbreakable, but that’s part of the parody, really. It was also a bit more believable in the first game that the whole thing was an exaggeration in the minds of the kids – something the show did some great jokes about in the past – but that’s something the player can quickly accept.

The personal story of the main character is also more satisfying. It builds upon the first game, yes, and you have to look past all that unfunny fart-power humour, but under the guise of ‘filling in your character sheet’ and ‘giving the superhero a tragic backstory’, a lot of this game revolves around figuring out the character’s identity and past. A lot of that is poking fun at current identity politics, where everyone is extremely sensitive about being politically correct about people’s self-identification, and the South Park politics remains centrist and observational – it mocks the bigots who will attack someone’s identity no matter what it is and famously put a joke right that the start that life is easier for white people, but it also revels in classic offensive stereotypes, small-town mentality and the idea that political correctness is all a bit daft and just as brutishly self-righteous as those infamous sexist frats. Through it all, your main character comes over as sympathetic and sweet, even staying mute except for a cute little sigh when he eats dinner as his parents fight.

It’s remarkable, really, how South Park is perhaps the first major game where you can actually customise your 10-year-old character in any number of ways – gay, pansexual, gender-neutral, any nationality you want – regardless of whether it’s tongue-in-cheek or not. I also have to talk about Tweek and Craig. The series started by poking fun at fandom and the tendency for there to be gay porn about any show with a lot of male characters. Neither Tweek nor Craig considered themselves gay, and didn’t get it at all. When the town got depressed when they faked a break-up, they decided to stay together for the sake of others while not really being gay. And yet recent episodes and this game have pushed away from that. It’s actually a major subplot of the story – Tweek leaves with the ‘Freedom Pals’ while Craig stays with Coon and Friends. The schism causes them to break up, where they bicker for a while but adorably keep asking the main character how their ex is getting on in between the bitterness. Finally they go to couples’ counselling, in typical daft South Park-style, and their special attack becomes a hilarious and adorable pastiche of Japanese BL (which, by the way, nobody has called ‘yaoi’ for a very long time). But they begin to express themselves, publically and privately, not as fake boyfriends but with genuine affection. If anything, the relationship is treated with the most respect just about anything has ever been given in South Park. Partly it remains a joke, that the one thing respected in the writing is the forced love affair between two 10-year-old boys pushed together by fangirls, but that doesn’t stop it being strange to see this show of all shows making something incredibly cute and progressive.

A lot of this is built out of a pretty weak season for South Park. Season 20 seems to be known in the fandom – which I’m not really part of – as a very weak one. Parker and Stone never expected Trump to win so a lot of their plans had to be changed. They struggled doing a season-long storyline that was a mess of ideas about trolls, ’member berries and Cartman turning over a new leaf after getting a girlfriend, which ended up with a lot of badly-explored ideas. For example, tensions between the sexes plus protests over the National Anthem (with a touch of Harambe) culminated in Butters’ ‘Wieners Out’ movement. The boys disgusted the girls, got what they wanted and were even protected by the PC Principal approving their right to protest peacefully. Then Butters tried it again, got told it wasn’t the right time by the Principal and the whole plotline vanished with the girls never able to give a decent response, which came over as a bit weird. Some of that unevenness finds its way into this game with very little actual thought going into Wendy’s presence or the actual underlying problems with South Park’s rotten underbelly and extremely uneven power structures.


But primarily the question is whether this is a fun game and a solid tie-in. I think it succeeds at both. Yes, it’s still a bit too short, but it’s longer and more satisfying than its predecessor. It’s also funnier and more human. So I unhesitatingly say that in my opinion, it’s better than The Stick of Truth. 
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(RISUS - IOU) The Culligan, Man of Mystery

Another day, another billion dollars from student loans at Illuminati University.

Rayne Firewyrk, Bottled Water Hating Fire Samurai, spotted the Culligan man pushing a hand truck across campus. Knowing the horrible things that could be in the bottled water ("You don't know what's in bottled water? THAT'S THE PROBLEM!), he tried to sneak across the Pent, with a tiny bush, cartoon-style.
Yes, this is a real thing... check out Youtube.

Keith Stone sees him poorly trying to sneak across the wide-open Pent and intervened with a Keystone Light. Easily comprehending that bottled water was much more dangerous than beer, he joined the investigation. Looking for muscle to help them take down such a threat, they recruited Pepe the King Prawn and Huggy Bear, a 6'6" black mother *shut your mouth* Care Bear.  
Huggy Bear, sans his leather trench, black turtleneck, and cool hat

The Culligan went through a service entrance of cafeteria and Rayne almost made it through the closing door before suffering an asthma attack. Using his video game connections, his gamer buddy MONGO, let them in, so long as they had some sweet potato pie and come back to hang for a bit. 

"Mongo psyche filled filled with black swirling darkness."

Once they posted the discussion on Mongo's ennui, they caught a glimpse of the The Culligan dragging his hand truck down a flight of stairs. 

They finally caught up to The Culligan, who was taking his five gallon water jugs and installing them directly into the campus water supply!

Pepe attempted to dislodged the water jug and succeeded, only to have a low-lying fog seep out of the connection, knocking him out.  Huggy Bear lifted him out and Keith Stone tried to revive him with yet another Keystone Light.... in the Beer Cozy of Satan. 

Pepe woke up, mysteriously wearing thick glasses, his turtleneck and chain replaced with suspenders, his Latino accent replaced with a rare Chicago twang.

"Did I do that????" 

Pepe Urquel wanted vengeance and chased after The Culligan.  He managed to circle around him, and catch off guard, but failed to do anything.  Huggy Bear stared down The Culligan, but The Culligan whipped out a '50s style ray gun and knocked him out AND disarmed Rayne's katana.  The Culligan threw his last 5-gallon jug at a unsuspecting Pepe Urquel.  Keith Stone slid into the jug's path.  The jug hit him with a resounding thud, and Stone's body still slammed into the king prawn.  Gathering their senses, Keith's pride was the only thing wounded, and Pepe was back to his Latin Lothario ways....   

Rayne recovered his katana and disarmed The Culligan, forcing him to flee.  Another chase through the pipe-strewn basement confirmed to Rayne that he really need to work on cardio.  The Culligan was ultimately trapped in a dark and dingy break room.   In one last act of desperation, he pulled down a vending machine, which cracked open, sending dozens of 16oz bottles of water everywhere.

When the others finally caught up to Rayne, they found the floor covered with water and sliced open bottles, the cover to an air vent lying against the wall, The Culligan gone. 
A friendly delivery man, or a secret warrior of a mysterious society?
When they finally get to the surface, The Culligan's truck was gone, but a license plate vanity frame was left in it's spot...  "H2O to GO..."

...but first it was time for sweet potato pie and friendship.

GM Note:  Another online D&D session was cancelled, this time our DM was available, but the main character who was central to the storyline had a family medical emergency.  

Time to whip out Risus.  

The entire session was based on the first question I asked Jeff (Rayne's player),  "What does Rayne see as he's chilling on the Pent?"  

"I see the Culligan man delivering water.  I need to exact vengeance."

Game. Set. Match.

I will say that I need to make/post a few more NPCs for IOU.  I'm running a bit low after relying on them for these last two games.  
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(IOU) Huggy Bear

Huggy Bear - Righteous Care Bear with Attitude
"Damn Right" (4)  - Able to persuade most people using his coolness.  Where applicable, three ladies jump out of no where, and a funk riff plays and they "Damn Right..."
CareBear Stare (3)
"What it is, Mother F'er" (2) - Intense Observation
"What is in there?" (1) Can reach into his Afro and pull random items, not always what he intended

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Ballad of the Pigeon God #28: Meanwhile, Back at the Chateau...

12 HexDec 1070 - Hydincall, Kingdom of Crosedes
As the green mist surrounding Duane Alberhold's brothel finally dissipated, the entire building disappeared, leaving parts of the root cellar.  Talis Makolin, bard and lover extraordinaire, had just been chased out of the brothel by his irate barbarian travelling companion, Rolf Wolfsblood, but now he stood in the middle of the street with the party's new purchases in a wagon, and their new friend dim-witted ex-gladiator Brutus, leaning against it.

"Crud. Brutus wanna go up to Eding with me?  I guess there's plenty of room at the Chateau."

"Sure Dallis, let's go..."

With the bulk of the party missing, and many of Hydincall's wizards, alchemists, and magic shops looking for the pilfering Talis, consulting with Echelon, Carthon, Mohammad, and County Zabty sounded like the safest option.

20 HexDec 1070 - Chateau d'Echelon - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Talis and Brutus finally brought the wagon up to the Chateau and immediately informed the other party members of the situation.  Assuming that their missing companions were fairly experienced adventurers, and there were no clues as to what happened, they assumed their friends were smart enough to find a way home.  Those at the Chateau decided it best to stay there, work on improving the estate, and help Eding when needed.

The simple village of Eding...
29 HexDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The village and its surroundings were subject to days of horrible storms, plus a few tornadoes, flattening crops and causing  significant damage.  The citizenry were frightened, and many families began packing up and fleeing to Omsjik.

31 HexDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Barrack, former owner of the Blue Wizard, and disgraced militia commander, spoke to Prince William about resuming his duties as community leader, as he had under Baron Athelstane.  Prince William outright refused and their vociferous debate on the village green was the talk of the town for day.

35 HexDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Barrack had continued his campaign to help lead the rebuilding process in Eding, until one of his daughters discovered him dead in a privy behind the Inn, a dagger sunk into the center of his chest. The captain of Prince Williams' "baronial" guard, a chap named Rogard, launched an investigation. 

Echelon took up where Barrack left off and began to immediately petitioned Prince William to formally acknowledge the cleric as a leader of the village, to coordinate tending to the crops and keeping the peace.

Talis launched his own investigation into Barrack's death, but found little.

21 SepDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
The weather over the past month had been most erratic, the day scorching hot, even for late summer, and the nightly storms extremely fierce, pounding the town.  The storms must have stretched up into the mountains, because cascading waters then swelled the river.  Many areas are flooded, including Lansluck, many halfling villages and Eding itself. Echelon dispatched the other residents of the Chateau to the village and the halfling towns (but not as far as Lansluck) to help as many people as possible.

Needless to say, many crops were failing at a critical time.

8 OctDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
After the flood waters subsided, a plague, probably caused by the mosquito infestation, swept through the valley.  The only man with enough true healing powers to fight the sickness was Mohammad, and he was working night and day to combat the illness.  Still more people escaped Eding.  Words like "accursed" would come out of their mouths during their farewells.

14 OctDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Echelon and Talis continued to seek audience with  Prince William about community leadership.  He had rejected every proposal presented to him, preferring to stay within the walls of Athelstane's old manor, surrounded by Athelstane's old guards.   Some of his old friends were coming to aid the village, and they were more powerful that the Chateau's roster.

22 OctDec, 1070 - Village of Eding, Kingdom of Crosedes
Echelon went up to the see Prince William yet again and found the townspeople revolting and surrounding the manor house.   Echelon ran back to the Chateau for reinforcements and Talis went to help William.

Talis tried not to harm the villagers too badly as he fought his way to the Prince.  Rogard was leading the revolt and the only factor keeping them from seizing them was that William's allies had just arrived they seemed better organized that Talis' group, but they had already lost two of their own to the peasants.

Talis used his magic and his blade valiantly to help save William.  The villagers torched the manor house as Talis escaped with the Prince and his surviving friends, Rurik Bloodblade, a viking warrior from Wyrmnal, Fiame, a cleric of Akana, and MacKay an aging Mymidion.

DM Notes:  Welcome back to the past in Crosedes, from the moment the brothel disappeared.  I had a few sessions with Talis and Echelon's players the week before finals and well before we started the Talislanta summer sessions.  The best part of all was that everyone kept their part of the story secret over the Summer, so when our heroes might get a chance to reunite, the updates will finally hit them like a ton of bricks.  

Prince William has been granted absolute power to control Athelstane's land around Eding by the King of Crosedes.  He might be a great paladin, but the idea of making decisions in a crisis affecting thousands absolutely petrifies him.  

William's friends, Rurik, Fiame, MacKay (and the recently deceased Billo and Travis) were the party that the Archbishop sent to recover the Bell of Chardastes after it appeared our heroes failed in their mission.  

Next #29  From Bad to Worse
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South Park: The Stick of Truth

I didn’t get the South Park game when it came out, even though I heard a lot of positive things and have been enjoying the show since it first started airing in the US – with a few hiccups here and there as the show went off the rails for a while. The Stick of Truth didn’t appeal for two reasons – firstly, I had a huge backlog of games I wanted to play at that time. But secondly, and more importantly, I refused to spend money on an incomplete game, and in the UK several sequences were cut out because someone somewhere deemed them inappropriate. Total bullshit, especially because one late-game sequence disarming a bomb recalls one of the cut sequences and thus makes very little sense.

But I’ve been a lot more into South Park since the new season began and The Fractured But Whole seems a lot of fun. Plus if I preorder, I get The Stick of Truth for free. So that’s what I did, and knowing that it was a very short game, played it through. The censorship, repetitive combat and simple story mean I’m happy to play it through just once and forget it (I sided with Kyle and the elves, for the record), but I actually rather enjoyed the 8 or 9 hours I gave this game. Ordinarily I don’t feel like I’ve really finished a game and can write my review until I’ve seen everything it has to offer and usually gotten the platinum, but in this case just a single run was adequate. Which isn’t to say it was a cursory speed-run: I finished all the side-quests but one (didn’t find the last hobo) and did pretty well on the collection and completion sidequests too. But I don’t think I’ll be going back for more.

The game was fun. Visually, it is of course just like an episode of the TV show. That isn’t the greatest of feats, given the show’s famously simplistic style. The acting is of course delivered by the show’s main cast, and probably the main draw, with the same crude humour, occasionally clever satirical parts and lots of nods to the show’s past – even right back to the beginning at times, with callbacks to very old episodes through elements like the stuffed and mounted Scuzzlebutt. And the gameplay is a satisfying rendition of classic turn-based RPGs, with combat revolving mostly around status ailments. Honestly, the game was far, far too easy. There was only one fight that I found challenging, which was against Al Gore and his bodyguards, which I had to concentrate for because if I didn’t defend against the enemy’s attacks with perfect timing I lost. But that was the one and only time that the game presented anything even a little difficult, and once Kyle joins the party his most powerful attack just wiped everyone out like the Magus Sisters in Final Fantasy X.

So with the presentation as would be expected from modern games, and the gameplay not so great, what about the story? Well, that’s certainly the saving grace of the game and what keeps the player coming back, though it’s not exactly the best story ever. The charm is that the boys are playing at being fantasy characters, from the Black Friday episodes of the show. They have split into two factions, the humans – led by Cartman – and the elves – led by Kyle.

The player, as a new kid, meets Butters and through him joins Cartman’s faction. He learns to fight, and in a parody of Skyrim that goes way too far and dominates too much of the game despite not being funny, he uses magical farts to get an advantage in battle. Thus he goes around town beating up bullies, rats and homeless people and making friends on Facebook. After causing disaster on an alien spaceship that abducts him for a bit of anal probing – censored in Europe – our hero ends up having to contend with an alien virus that has disastrous and very South Park-ish effects on the town’s population, as well as the secret government agents who want to hush the whole thing up.

The parodies of classic games are certainly enjoyable. While the turn-based combat evokes Final Fantasy, the mute main character is more like Link and there’s a whole section that’s essentially a tribute to Zelda. The show’s climax with betrayals and revelations and big firey battles with recognisable old faces is satisfying, too.

South Park may be puerile and at times push a joke too far when it’s not actually that entertaining, but generally it’s the added layers that a joke gets that are amusing. Gross-out humour about Mr. Slave’s butt isn’t very funny, but seeing an old face long missing from the show in an unexpected place gets a laugh. The edgy humour of fighting through an abortion clinic isn’t so amusing, but getting cornered into having to pretend to do an abortion on Randy Marsh by your cover story makes it much funnier (though again gets censored). The game also did the fashionable thing of playing with the notion of free will, like Bioshock or Spec Ops: The Line, but for a funny sequence with a very creepy photographer.


Initially satisfying to explore with lots of combat to learn, it’s a shame there isn’t a mode that’s much more challenging, and that there couldn’t be considerably more variety in the battles – and a lot less farting. We’ll see how game 2 measures up tomorrow!
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Magic: The Gathering - Arena of the Planeswalkers Board Game at Five Below.

Outside of helping Maja write an actual graphic novel using Rory's Story Cubes, it's been very light gaming-wise this weekend. 

With the kids off to an amusement parks Halloween festival with family, my wife and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary a day late, with childless lunch at TGI Fridays and an exciting hockey game between the Wilkes-Barre Scranton Penguins and the Syracuse Crunch. 

Unfortunately, even in our relaxed state, we're so efficient getting out the door and eating that we had 90 minutes to burn before puck drop. 

Working on a rumor I got last week, I suggested the chain Five Below, which, if you don't have girls under 13 in your house, is effectively a store where everything is five dollars or less, and 80% of the merchandise drives young girls into madness.

No need for Shopkins, cute t-shirts, and forty horrible shades of nail polish, but my wife confirmed the rumors by pointing out this before I could find it:
This is Magic: The Gathering Arena of the Planeswalkers board game.    Over two years ago this was solicited through the hobby store channels , and I asked two questions:  How much was it, and how deep was this getting distributed, because the company was listed under Hasbro rather than WotC.

Two years later, it's on clearance at Five Below for five dollars, well under the $30.00+ retail price I've seen on FLGS shelves. 

To be honest, even before reading the rulebook, it's not a bad deal.  Thirty plastic figures (ten of them with a "speed paintjob" from China), some battleboards, some dice akin to BattleMasters, and a shiny black d20 equals an impulse buy that might be useful. 

For five bucks, I'm surprised I only bought one.   Sure, it's toy company quality sculpts that might be a smidge small for 30mm, but I can think of nowhere else where $15 would net you six hellhounds and a vatload elves, phoenixes, and various warlords and beasties. 

I'll even try it out to see if it plays okay...

It's no Kay-Bee Toys deal for Star Wars Figures and D&D modules from the early 90's, but I'll take it.

FYI:  No Five Below in your area, I did find it online at Target for a little over $17.  Still not a bad price....
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Steelstacks Gamecon - Saturday, November 11, 2017

Live in the Lehigh Valley and can't make the hike up to Mepacon?  Don't fear, Steelstacks Gamecon will take place that Saturday, November 11, 2017 in Southside Bethlehem from 12-4pm.  

Although it is $8 admission and only four hours long, it appears the organizers are focusing on as many 20-30 minute games that they can get their hands (and there are a ton!).


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300K For the Gnomies!

With the help of bots from Italy, the Ukraine, and Russia, plus the views of thousans of real people, Gaming with the Gnomies just hit 300,000 page views.

I already provided by plans for world domination this year a mere two weeks ago, so not much has transpired.  My crazy busy season at work and the kid's activities have kept me from the basement, but I have gotten some time beyond my two-hour online RPG sesion in the office to work on a slew of projects.

I did take a minute to go through the blog journal, just to make sure I still had all my plans were still in the queue.

  • Adventures in Gulluvia:  The relaunch of the old weekend group on an online platform is progressing slowly, but I think I have enough options for them, plus a few scenarios from some peculiar sources.
  • 5th Edition D&D: Oh what fun it is to play a mixture of Robin Hood and Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.  Falgor the Barbarian rocks!
  • My Little Pony:  Reviews of the Core Rulebook and Curse of the Statuettes are pending.  I have a little administrative work to do, but the multiple sessions at Mepacon are ready!  
  • Fall-In!:  Finally registered, room reserved
  • Pulp Alley:  It took a few days of digging through my junk mail, but I did find my Pulp Alley Lost World of Lemuria PDF that they sent directly to me.  Still planning on Season 3 of the Pulp Game to be back in "Egypt," but it's a fun campaign to run for future sessions.
  • Risus: Going through the Blogging Journal, I re-discovered the previously shelved "Planet Mirrorball."  With the cancellations of the 5e game, Risus - IOU will make a comeback after attacking the water plant.
  • PROJECT ZERO:  Super-secret project I can't discuss at all.  Only thing I'll mention has been missing my nightly writing goals of a 1,000 words a night.  Getting that corrected ASAP.
The furnace needs to be serviced, so I'll be downstairs shortly.... and revisit the painting bench.  
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"The Weekend" is Moving

"The Weekend", the annual small convention held at the Continental Inn in Lancaster, PA is moving in 2018!

Calendar-wise that is.

The location and activities are still the same, but the convention will be moving from June to April 11-15, probably due to either date availability, or the grand impending return of Historicon to the Lancaster Host this July.

It doesn't affect my season hockey tickets, so color me intrigued.
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A Reaper Mousling Ad in White Wolf Magazine

Flipping through the Halloween issue #48 of White Wolf, circa 1994, I come away with a few things.
  1. It was chock-full of edgy, pretentious BS back in the day.  It's pretty tame compared to the wackiness at the ends of the spectrum we're dealing with today.  That is neither a compliment towards their writing, nor of the current situation.  
  2. $3.95 for a magazine was an acceptable price for a guy who just had gotten a job for minimum wage ($5/hr) at New Frontiers in the Phillipsburg Mall selling Magic cards.
  3. Ken Carpenter was one of the only reasons I read this magazine at that point.  A Fantasy scenario and a review for Legions of Steel? Totally Sweet. 
  4. A note that issue #45 had an editorial about the movement to remove lead from minis.  Oh the barbarity! 
  5. The current reviews I post from time to time or little better than the schlock review for TWERPS Space Cadets 2nd Edition in the capsule reviews.  
  6. The #3 best selling gaming product for that August was Jyhad Booster Packs.  The only two products in the top 20 that weren't Wizards, TSR, Palladium, White Wolf or FASA?  R. Talsorian's Castle Falkenstein.  I may post that list later.  
  7. It was the glorious early days of Reaper Miniatures as they had commissioned Terry Williams to sculpt some of the original Mouslings (and the long forgotten Verminites).
Dollar minis.... oh the memories....
7. The dude reviewing TWERPS Space Cadets 2nd Edition was me...

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