(IOU) "Chet"

“Chet”

Chet is Cthulhu’s half brother. Chet is a stereotype of a slacker hippie. He has his tentacles pulled back and like dreadlocks, is barefoot, large pot belly, smelly, dirty shirt (which is a midriff) and always looking to score some reefer. He is a philosophy major with little ambition. He is often seen on the quad playing ultimate Frisbee with his friends. He has followers from the religious studies who claim he is “the one”, not his brother, but he often just tells them to relax and uses them to do his bidding like getting him “grind-edge” or more pot to smoke.

Gaze of Contentment (4) While Cthulhu brings fear and insanity, Chets gaze and long term presence to a group brings a feeling of extreme relaxation and desire to stop all actions.

You Put Your Weed in There Man (3)You put your weed in there man – Chet is an expert with spatial abilities, hiding things well and packing things extremely well. On a perfect roll of 6’s on 3 D6 he unwillingly opens a dimensional door to an unknown location where anything seems to fit at the moment.

I Know You Man! (2) Chet knows most people on campus and people often feel at ease around him. If he asks them questions they often just divulge the information he wants without hesitation trusting him at the moment.

Bring the Pain (1) Chet tries not to be like his relatives (the elder gods) and wants to be more passive. However, when watch out when someone steals the Bee man. Though he is not in touch with his more aggressive self, sometimes when he gets mad a pillar of fire rains down from the heavens upon his target of anger.

Seriously, there's not a hippie Cthulhu picture on the internet? Then we'll refer back to the last known picture of the Elder Dude, from his fresh-thing year, with a little extra Pauly Shore for good measure:

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(IOU) Melvin Marcawitz,

As the sessions of Illuminati University have been used as filler for some of our 5e online game cancellations, I miraculously have run through the the "available" characters for PCs, including some slated to be characters.  

Nate to the rescue!  

The player known for Norm Dingleberry, Doc Millheim, and Professor Pittleman came to the rescue and made up a number new characters for use in the campaign, and for not actually owning a copy of Risus, he did a fine job...

Melvin Marcawitz
Did I Eat That? (4)
Being poor, and a divorcee living on his own Melvin has learned to eat a variety of things that would easily turn most peoples stomachs or even injure them, but not Melvin

!!!NERDS!!!  Rage (3) 

Easily pumped to show off what little physical prowess he has, Melvin pumps himself up to possibly perform amazing feats of strength. 

Sports Statistic Rotisserie (2) 

Melvin has a vast knowledge of useless sports knowledge he believes to be true, whether it is or not. About the way sports are played and about history and games and players of the past.

Imperfect Substitute (1) 

Melvin is used to being taken advantage of. His marriage, teaching in school, even in sports, he was always the substitute or being replaced. Due to this, Melvin can easily be told to “step in and cover” someone or something in a bad situation taken the brunt on the punishment and allowing the other person to walk away unharmed and happy.

A high school gym teacher who failed to keep up with needed credits and credentials, he needs to go back to college and get a degree in PE again. He is a 43 year old divorced, single man living in the dorms. He looks a lot like Ron Jeremy, 70’s porn mustache, mullet. He wears very tight short shorts, knee high tube socks with color bands, tight polo shirt with over sized collar with few buttons done to show off lots of thick curry chest hair, large silver whistle and stop watch around his neck. He stretches and does lunges frequently. 

As a GM and player, I really picture Melvin as a cross between Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds and Cousin Rico from Napoleon Dynamite.

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